| Counting Down the Days Until I'm Uncalifornian's Journal |
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Counting Down the Days Until I'm Uncalifornian
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[30 Jun 2006|03:33pm] |
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music |
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Belle and Sebastian - The gate |
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So far this week I have:
- Started work at *my first* job
- Hit a bird with my car
- Hallucinated
Li'l Kim gets out of prison on Monday.
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[06 Mar 2006|06:55pm] |
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mood |
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Forgetful |
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music |
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The Fiery Furnaces - Police Sweater Vow |
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Tell me my strengths and weaknesses.
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[20 Jan 2006|01:43pm] |
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mood |
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Four days |
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music |
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Black Mountain - Set Us Free |
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What are some of your favorite (free) podcasts?
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[17 Nov 2005|12:46pm] |
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mood |
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Left out! |
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music |
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Self - Love Interest |
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Got it on the Jolt,
eighty bucks, worth every cent...
See you next year, then?
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| Sorry I haven't updated in so long. |
[27 Jun 2005|03:06am] |
crazy1 86:hey baby!!!
h0tNsPiCy91: whos dis???
crazy1 86:ur secret admirer!!!!!
h0tNsPiCy91: o really.... quite lyin! whos dis???
crazy1 86:i loved u the first time a stared in your eyes...
crazy1 86:i think about u everyday... you are my dream come true.
crazy1 86: we met once! i dont think u remember tho.
crazy1 86: i cut myself because the pain takes away my feelings of u.
crazy1 86: tonight u will see me some time tonight....
h0tNsPiCy91: ..WHO IS THIS!?!?!?
crazy1 86:dont worry.... ill take very good care of you...
crazy1 86 had signed off.
the girl was so scared she locked alll her doors and windows. she made sure her room was secured. she was so scared if it was a joke or for real. she didnt know when he was going to come. the girl was frighten so she decided to sleep with her little sister. the girl dozed off quikly. then she heards a knock on the window. the girl slowly walked to the window. it started knocking louder. the girl looked through the windows and saw nothing. just some of the tree branches. the girl went back to bed with her sister. the bed was wet and a pretty smells horrid. maybe her sister wet the bed... the girl checked and found blood everywhere. the girl panick. she didnt know what to do. she ran and hid in the closet incase the guy was their for her. while looking through the cracks of the closet the girl saw a shadow. it was dark so she couldnt figure out who it was. she started to get more frighten. the man crept closer to the closet. the girl closed her eyes as if it was a dream. then suddenly he open the closet door and pulled her out. her parents found her dead. she was skinned all the way and was hunged in her sisters closet.
PART 2...
2 years after the the sisters deaths, the her parents got pregnant with a baby boy the girls room became a guest bedroom and the little sisters room where the murder took place became the babys room. the baby grew up to be a secessful kid. one night he was on the computer and got a instant messege.
h0tNsPiCy91:hey lil bro!!!
2seXay4u: who the f is this?
h0tNsPiCy91: its your big sis.
2seXay4u: i never had a sister. im an only child.
2seXay4u:this is some kinda joke huh?
h0tNsPiCy91: mom and dad never told you?
h0tNsPiCy91: i died 15 years ago with your other older sister.
h0tNsPiCy91:we were murdered in your room which was once my little sisters room. she was killed in bed when i was sleeping and i was killed in the closet and skinned to death.
2seXay4u:quite lying. i never had a sister. if i did my parents would tell me. whatever. your stupid.
h0tNsPiCy91: you dont believe me? well if you wanna look in your closet floor.
h0tNsPiCy91: i carved my name, time and date i was being murdered. then i
carved my little sister name.
h0tNsPiCy91: if you dont believe me little brother check the internet. type in ''smith sisters murdered anonymously''.
h0tNsPiCy91: i gtg little brother. i love you. and mom and dad soo much. i cant believe they kept us a secret from you. they should burn in hell.
the boy checked the closet. he saw the carvings. was it true? he surfed the internet and everything was their about the anonymous murder in the house. the next morning the boy went downstairs. it was so queit. maybe mom and dad was sleeping.. hours later the boy found his parents in their closets skinned and hung. then he found more carvings on the ground. it says '' I TOLD YOU I WASNT LYING. LITTLE BROTHER, I LOVED MOM AND DAD.... BUT THEY KEPT ME A SECRET. I CANT BELIVE IT. WELL IM FREE FROM THIS COLD WORLD. I WONT HURT YOU LIKE HOW THEY DIED. I LOVE YOU!
- LISA SMITH ''
this is a death chain. if you dont send this in the next hour the parents will kill you at night. they will kill you like how they and the sisters were killed. good luck!!
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| Sedaris. |
[08 Jun 2005|10:54pm] |
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TWO. TWO. TWO. |
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Self - Fat Man and Dancing Girl |
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David Sedaris signed my yearbook yesterday.
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[17 Apr 2005|08:57pm] |
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mood |
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What time is it really?? |
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music |
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The Dismemberment Plan - Gyroscope |
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So how many of you have ever had first-class seats next to Leonard Nimoy?
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[13 Apr 2005|04:09pm] |
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mood |
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flighty lol get it. |
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Mirah - Special Death |
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LAX to BOS, arrive 10:37 AM Friday
BOS to LAX, arrive 7:04 PM Sunday
I guess I'm staying somewhere between Boston and Providence and visiting both schools.
Missing school is the nail in my GPA's coffin.
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[15 Jan 2005|04:55pm] |
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Sufjan Stevens - Siamese Twins |
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So this is what happens when Livejournal merges with SixApart.
WAY TO GO,  BRAD.
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| Rejected #4392 |
[11 Dec 2004|12:10am] |
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Love |
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Joanna Newsom - Bridges and Balloons |
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I have a lot of trouble taking college essays seriously, and the following is what happens late at night when I decide to try to apply to schools. I don't think any college would appreciate my mocking every essay prompt offered to me.
Reinvent your high school. What is essential? What would you change?
There is a real possibility that my high school will one day fall victim to the fickle, treacherous whims of the San Andreas Fault. When that day arrives, I will undeniably be the one chosen to restore what was lost. Armed with my bare hands, three feet of rope, a flashlight, a granola bar, and seven pipe-cleaners, I will be responsible for sifting through the rubble to replace what was once a California Distinguished High School. My first course of action would be to scour the Yellow Pages for a contractor who would rebuild the school for the least amount of money or number of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches. Once an exact replica had been constructed and sufficient sandwich-debt paid, I would set about replenishing the student body by bussing in students of promising academic background from surrounding cities and filling the gaps with any cadavers left in presentable condition after the quake. Just kidding! Even the grotesquely deformed cadavers would have a chance at being seat-fillers.
Teachers or none, the essential aspects of the high school would have to be put in place. First, I would establish a marching band. Without such an institution, how would geeks ever have a chance at sexual activity? Providing their subgroup with this opportunity is the only way I can think of to be fair and equal. As far as anyone is concerned, high school is just a hook-up hub, and denying each student the right and option to "make it" would be like duct-taping his or her mouth shut. I would be obligated by generic high school tradition to include the marching band, even if only for this single purpose.
The only things that could change from my high school's original setup to improve the overall setting are the bathrooms. I'd hire a janitor or six to mop and brush the human waste from the floors and walls every few weeks, or at least spray some air freshener.
The new XXXOMGXXX High School would continue its legacy as the premier education facility in Long Beach. Equipped with its doors and ceilings and maybe even fire alarms, I sure wouldn't pass it up were I to be demoted to ninth grade after having this essay read by any authoritative figure.
Thanks go to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) kindertwin for providing what is essentially the only content of the essay.
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[01 Dec 2004|03:42pm] |
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mood |
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d-o-m |
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The Unicorns - Thunder & Lightning |
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...Read any good books lately?
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[28 Sep 2004|05:31pm] |
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mood |
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"Commended" |
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Elliott Smith - Don't Go Down |
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With any luck, I'll be at one of the indicated locations by this time next year. What will probably happen, though, is that I will stay public and in-state and slit my wrists.
Edit: Do you know of any good image hosts other than PhotoSUCKIT? LOLOLOL!!1! Let me know.
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[30 Aug 2004|02:09am] |
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mood |
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Alrad |
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Deerhoof - Polly Bee |
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How do you pronounce the word "fellate"?
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[15 Aug 2004|05:07pm] |
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mood |
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West Nile / Achilles |
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The Fiery Furnaces - Blueberry Boat |
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If there's any proof that I'm decomposing from the inside out, it's the mystery bruises that have appeared on my heel.
( Two more, just like Paris Hilton )
And if there's any sign that I've made friends this summer, it's negated by all the time I spend cloistered in my room bleeding my heart into a leatherbound journal--my only companion. By the time it's filled, I will have four quires of quartos of lucid memory.
It's weird to write privately but still feel like there's have an audience to impress. Hopefully after I kill myself, someone will scour my journal for clues foreshadowing my premeditated self-inflicted death and not be able to put it down. It will be mass-published, and it will be lauded as "a page turner," "a muted first-person narrative of tumult and fractured character," and "similar to Cobain's, but, like...straight edge??" Posthumous fame will follow, and all profit from book sales will go toward building a shrine which will house the tree whose roots feed upon the minced leftovers of my dead body.
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[18 Jul 2004|12:47am] |
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mood |
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Volta |
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music |
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Self - Wide Awake @ 7 |
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When you compare Scrabble to sex, crossword puzzles are kind of like masturbation.
...What?
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| Ambulance. |
[17 Jul 2004|01:28pm] |
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mood |
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Buddha |
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music |
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The Unicorns - Inoculate the Innocuous |
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There's an ambulance parked in front of my house with its engine running. The driver is asleep inside.
Am I wrong, or should he perhaps be awake, alert, and ready to run a few red lights and save someone's life?
I'm trying to decide what to do. I could, of course, politely rap upon his window, awaken him, and ask him what the fuck he's doing idling on the job. There's also the option of sneaking into the ambulance, pushing him out, and joyriding for a while (perhaps with a dying person in the back of my vehicle!). I could even find a bowl and some warm water and let his nervous system take the reins.
If you have any ideas, let me know.
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[14 Jul 2004|12:08pm] |
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mood |
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Curious (still) |
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Jeff Buckley - So Real |
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I was talking to my parents about paying for college a few days ago, and they told me that if I hadn't been born, my dad would have finished graduate school and we'd all be better off. I was extracted from the uterus during finals week, and we haven't recovered since.
Play a game of croquet if you've never tried before. It's beautiful and summery and full of dishonesty and bitter, half-concealed malice.
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[17 Jun 2004|01:41pm] |
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mood |
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Way cool. |
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Black Eyes - A Pack of Wolves |
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1991 COOL CAR
40,000 miles
( Priceless? )
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[05 Jun 2004|11:57pm] |
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Melee - The War |
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We drove all the way to sunny, overwhelmingly-Mexican Pomona to see the Fiery Furnaces and The Shins last night.
I hate to say it, but the Fiery Furnaces completely upstaged The Shins. Are openers (or stage-sharers) allowed to do that to headlining bands? Eleanor Friedburger's nonstop vaudeville medley of lyric-vomiting, psychedelic insanity left me genuinely awestruck and exhausted. Such is the power of a pair of siblings who get along well.
James Mercer followed with his apologetic -- guilty, almost -- face and angel voice. Having the show climax halfway through made me restless, waiting for The Shins' performance to give off a little more energy. And I know I'll have rotten tomatoes launched at me from everyone for admitting that all their songs sound exactly alike. Not bad, just indistinguishable, is all.
At any rate, do you guys realize how rewarding it is to trade quarters for tickets at a dingy arcade to trade them in for the worst birthday present ever? Not very. But you should do it sometime, just to be able to say you did.
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[15 May 2004|01:01pm] |
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Death Cab For Cutie - For What Reason |
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Our cat has been missing since the weather started heating up a few weeks ago. I say she either ran away or died under the house of heat exhaustion. We haven't smelled anything remotely like rotting cat lately, so I'm guessing she must be dead or living somewhere other than under the house.
I offered to make posters (and save money) on Mother's Day, but I'm afraid I'll be labeled the neighborhood Boy-Who-Cried-Wolf if I put them up.
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[31 Mar 2004|11:43pm] |
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Has anyone else found a small el-jay April Fool's joke?
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| Cleavage, if anything. |
[28 Mar 2004|09:03pm] |
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mood |
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Like breaking an apple. |
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Mirah - Special Death |
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Shortly after I proposed that Alex should try splitting an apple in half using only his bare hands, he found himself cackling, prostrate, and with a soggy spot on his pants. He had succeeded.
And shortly after that, I discovered that I, too, can cleave an apple with raw muscle just like Alex -- the only difference being that I can do it without soiling my slacks.
I'd like to amend the traditional, romantic image of an American frontiersman (like the Black Angus guy, you know?). We should definitely do away with his knife. I've proven the possibility of bladeless survival.
...Now all I need is five o'clock shadow and a fedora. I'm working on it.
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[07 Mar 2004|03:30pm] |
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music |
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Gary Jules - Mad World |
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Hey.
Tell me some books I should read and bands I should hear.
(For your reference, these are the bands I already listen to.)
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